Oz

Home sweet home. Only back in Oz 2 days I have been struck by several things.

1. Australia has become expensive. Not helped by the outrageous exchange rates on offer from Travelex at Tullamarine Airport in Melbourne where I sold GBP/AUD at a rate not seen since when. 

£40 got me 49 Australian dollars. 49 Australian Dollars!!!! 3.5 years ago when I left this ''Lucky Country'' 40 quid would get me 100 bucks. It strikes you at every corner. 50 Aussie bucks for brunch at a cafe for 3 of you? 55 bucks for 3 sandwiches and soft drinks from a seaside cafe? 250 Aussie bucks for a two course dinner for 3 where no one drinks more than a glass of wine each? 160 Bucks to get a taxi from the airport to home? 

2. No one but no one dresses up for a good restaurant meal. I've come to the conclusion that the idea of dressing up for an evening meal for an Aussie man is simply to ensure your shirt has sleeves. 

3. The Aussie accent is broad and you know you are home when the waitress says '' Hi guys watchya think you will have to eat?'' and then when you tell her she replies '' good onya'' and raises both thumbs upwards. I kid you not. God bless. 

4. Australia has become a police state. An hour drive to the beach yesterday and I counted more camera's than you'd see in Dixons.

5. Almost every car is Japanese and it's a rare sight when you see something from Europe.

So very similar to the vista at Brighton Beach in the UK...or.....not!

Another crowded Aussie beach

Stainless steel cutlery!

' Heathrow chaos '' screamed The Daily Mail

'' UK at a standstill '' bellowed the The Times

'' A disgrace'' said The Sun

You can therefore imagine it was with some trepidation that I turned off the alarm at 5.15am and stumbled into the study to check the latest update on our flight from London to Abu Dhabi. '' On schedule'' was what greeted me as I logged onto the Etihad website and so to the airport I went with not a lot of confidence that what I had read would prove to be the truth in reality. It was a reservation with some credibility.Stories had been circulating in the press the previous evening of over 500,000 people stranded at various UK airports and of people settling down to their 3rd or 4th night inside any one of the 5 Heathrow terminals. All of this a consequence of some seasonal weather that had included snow over the past 2-3 days.

Arriving at T4 we were greeted with countless number of people bunkered down on the floor wrapped in silver space blankets and long queues of people seemingly going nowhere fast. They all had one thing in common. That desultory look on their faces that told you they were both tired and lost in a vacuous state of mental numbness bought about by a lack of communication from the airlines as to when they would be leaving what had become their temporary home.

With all the deftness of a rally driver on ice I manouvred the trolley cart between hundreds of bodies lying prostate on the floor and approached the Etihad area for check in. Somewhat surprised that we were the only ones in the queue I doubled checked to ensure that we were both in the right area and this was in fact the flight for Melbourne via Abu Dhabi. Correct on both fronts. 

As I slumped my bag onto the weighing tray I expressed my surprise at the lack of queue to the Etihad staff member.

'' We don't do queues at Etihad '' came the curt response. 

Checked in, it was a hurried and almost guilt laden walk through to security lest one of the hundreds of lost souls grappled me to the floor demanding to know how I dare circumvent the misery they had been through. Security was a barren landscape of staff waiting to check the occasional passenger who might have lucked their way into the departure area. 

Elapsed time from kerbside to check in to clearing security? 9 minutes.

Now I have never flown Etihad before but at this stage they were getting all the credit for this dream like and somewhat surreal experience. 

State owned and run, it is clearly an airline that can afford to provide the travel experience we all enjoyed in the past and desperately wished for in the future. 

You might say it was the check in that impressed me. Or you could say it was the friendly nature of the staff. Conversely was it the spacious aircraft or the expansive entertainment system? 

It was all of the above and more. What was the ''more''? 

Stainless steel cutlery with your meals and a meal you could legally call food. 

I haven't eaten with stainless steel cutlery in economy on any airline since the days when you could also smoke on a plane. I remember those days of a bygone era with unexplainable nostalgia. Battling your way through the haze of smoke wafting above rows 49 through to 55 as you made your way to the toilets at the rear has left an indelible mark on my memory of travel. 

Airlines have for a long time passed off the necessity of plastic cutlery on the need for improved security following 9/11. Never mind the myriad of contradictions this policy entails. For instance you still use stainless steel in First Class (what? terrorists can't afford to travel at the pointy end?) and they still serve you wine in minature glass bottles that could easily be broken and used as a weapon. 

Security has become a facade for cost cutting.  

I wonder what excuse then for the often served dross they call food?

Fear no longer though. Etihad's menu is extensive and broad catering for your every need. They even offer a selection of different coffees ( cappuccino , latte or espresso ) with your post dinner chocolates.

You'd think my corporate drooling over this experience was perhaps bought about by a sponsorship deal with the airline. But unfortunately it hasn't. It's just being such an incredible experience that I felt compelled to share it.

Not QANTAS or BA or Cathay for me going forward when I have to do the London-Australasia trip. Etihad all the way baby. Can't recommend it highly enough.

and so to home...with some after thoughts

38 days in Florida comes to an end.

38 days in which I saw two days of rain.

It did get marginally cooler throughout the month but for all intents and purposes every day was the same. Cool morning, clear skies, warm to very warm afternoons and mild evenings.

It was all conducive to flying and plenty of it.

Thoughts?

There are plenty and here is a brief synopsis.

Naples is an 'unreal' town. It is flat.Most of the residents have migrated from the midwest or upper east coast and you would be hard pressed to find anyone that has resided there longer than 10 years. It is a town of very old money and very very large and somewhat ostentatious houses. It is a town whose airport lays host to a tremendous amount of private jets.It is a town of gated communities of which there is an abundance. There are few to no African-Americans in the town.There are plenty of Baptists. It is spread out and lacking in any meaningful infrastructure. The result of which is that everyone drives everywhere. There are no nightclubs or any visible form of vice. Its town council is ultra conservative. Its biggest tourist attraction is its Zoo. Its second biggest tourist attraction is its pier. I found its most attractive asset to be its beach and in particular its beach at sunset. Ending the day with a beer in hand (wrapped in a brown paper bag), gazing westward across the Gulf of Mexico facing a setting sun was something I did often and thoroughly enjoyed. Would I go back? Only to visit a good friend and his wife. I could never live there.

The flying school I used was disorganised and lacked structure or any meaningful schedule. This despite a pre-course sit down discussion with one of the owners where we outlined my goals and the timeframe I had to work within. Given what happened 9 years ago (9/11) I was astounded at the lack of attention to detail and more so security. Especially in regards to accessing the tarmac.The only time the owners (who were also the senior management and therefore responsible for the day to day running of the operation) interacted with the pupils was to ask for more cash. All the students there had the same gripes and very few if none said they would use them again. That said. You couldn't fault the location to learn to fly. It was top shelf.

Florida itself seems caught in a time warp and I wasn't surprised to discover it has one of the poorer performing state economies with one of the highest rates of unemployment in the USA. It is ignorant to paint the entire country with the same brushstroke dipped from the easel of one solitary state but I saw plenty that goes a long way towards explaining why the US faces the challenges it does today and in a broader sense some of these points illustrate why the western world is struggling.

1. There are too many big cars, either SUV's or saloons guzzling way too much fuel.

2. There is no visible, reliable public transport infrastructure in any of the towns or cities I visited and this even applies to Miami where I was shocked at what little was on offer

3. Waste. There is an absolute abundance of it at every turn. Supermarkets continue to bag everything once or twice over in plastic. But where the word waste reared its head largest was in restaurants. The amount of food served and not eaten is simply mind boggling. Portions are beyond ridiculously large in size. The amount not eaten and binned even more so. Gardens and public parks were watered at the height of midday(admittedly with bore water) and there seem to be no conscious effort made whatsoever to preserve any form of energy or natural resource.It got me thinking that surely there is an opportunity to re-distribute the food waste to the poor and homeless. There just wouldn't be any money in it.

4. The state of public highways and particularly bridges is very poor.

5. There was an overzealous local highway patrol in Naples as there was in Key West as there was in Miami. I saw more people pulled over by police in my 5 weeks than I have in my last 45 years.Despite this everyone seems to drink drive quite regularly and the highway speed limit of 70mph is treated as advisory only. (In the state of Florida you can buy a clean licence if you rack up too many demerit points)

6. The incentive for good service (ie: the lure of a good tip) is fast disappearing. Many of the restaurants now add a 18.5 % service tip to your bill. The bit I love most (not) is that it works like this. Your food and wine bill is say 100 USD. You then get lumped with state taxes and it goes to 111.00 USD. They then add 18.5% service charge (ie;tip) on top of the 111.00 USD. But the best bit? They still leave the ''tip'' column empty for any unsuspecting person to add even more. I asked several people about this and was told they do it for two reasons. It allows restaurants to now control the amount staff get for tips and many use it to subsidise the minimum wage they are expected to pay the staff who are now worse off. Furthermore the IRS now can tax on tips earned by the staff as it is all documented. There goes your incentive for good service. If a waiter knows they are in for 18.5% regardless of how they treat you then your concerns are not theirs anymore.

7. Homelessness and mentally ill destitutes is a very real and sad issue. There weren't that many examples in Naples but aplenty in Kew West and more in Miami where the gulf between the haves and have nots was eye opening.

The irony of it

8. Bank owned houses and businesses are too many to count. I'm told that most banks will now accept anywhere between 20 and 30 cents to the dollar on the houses and buildings they now find themselves owning as a result of the massive amount of defaulted loans over the last 3 years.

9. Mexican migrant labour does all the menial jobs.

10. English is not the first and most widespread language spoken in southern Florida. Spanish is. If you wanted to operate any business in this part of the world you would need to know how to speak Spanish if you were to give yourself a realistic chance of being successful.

11. Ever restaurant has at least one TV.

12. The best place to get a breakfast is still the ubiquitous ''American Diner''

13. The weather is truly great and the people very friendly 

All that said its a good state to visit. Key West in particular was a highlight. Laid back, liberal, small enough to be quaint but large enough to be interesting and it is somewhere I would definitely go back to. I'm told June is the best month.

Not sure where I go to with my flying next but am leaning towards firstly my instrument rating and multi engine ratings, then see where that leads me.

Am off to Oz on Tuesday the 21st and may even blog from there.

Take care y'all and have pleasant xmas.

North to South beach

Key West to South Beach Miami is a pleasant drive. A range of Keys (small islands to anyone else in the world) bound together by a series of bridges and a single road. The I-1. The overall impression is of an area stuck in the late 1970's to early 1980's when money came flooding into town but has since long dried up. This must surely be powerboat capital of the world and given the glut of supply surely it must be one of the cheaper places to pick yourself a nice run about for a cheap dollar or two.

I-1 heading north to Miami

Then Miami. Now let me correct any misperceptions you may have (as I did) about South Beach Miami.It is not a part of Miami city proper. It is not a southern beach of Miami. And in no way does it represent true Miami. South beach is in fact a small island off the east coast of Florida linked to Miami by 3 bridges. That is where the connection and similarity stops.

South Beach is all about ''beautiful people''.

South beach is all about image.

South beach is about ostentatious displays of wealth and owning a bright yellow Lamborghini. Or a white one. Or a black one. Or a red one. Hey! Let's buy a pink one !! Seriously. I almost wept.

South beach is about art deco hotels and buildings.

South beach is about the beach itself and colourful life guard huts.

South beach is about working out on the boardwalk and trying to make it look effortless and good at the same time.

South beach is about people watching.

South beach is about having brunch at the Delano Hotel and having Susan Sarandon sit down at the next table!

South beach is expensive.

South beach is about having brunch at Jerry's 24 hour diner the following day for 1/10th the cost!

It all makes for great theatre and great fun for a couple of days.

I could never live here though.

South beach lifeguard HQ

The photographer getting photographed

North on the I-1

If San Francisco is the city of choice for the gay population of the USA then Key West must surely be where they go for holiday. There is a massive gay presence in this small city slash town and their very being makes for a more lively, charismatic, colourful city slash town with a genteel feeling lacking in most other cities in the USA. I would recommend Key West to most but moreso those with an interest in anything to do with the water. If you do come to KW then make sure you do lunch at Louies Backyard (http://www.louiesbackyard.com/). I've had the privilege to eat at many great restaurants and this ranks up there. Take a table on the Wisconsin aged pine balcony with views out over the crystal clear and warm waters of the Atlantic towards Cuba. Do nothing more than imbibe upon one of the great wine lists of the world and gorge yourself on the freshest of seafood menus. When they come to request my last meal on death row I'm going to ask for the menu from here.

The view from Louie's

Key West was one of the homes of Ernest Hemingway and primarily so because of the great fishing here.  Little wonder then that he penned " Old man and the sea ' whilst residing here. Some other interesting, or not, facts about Mr Hemingway.

He supported the wrong side in both the Spanish and Cuban civil wars. He was married 4 times. He fathered 3 children of which all were boys. He loved cats and gave protection to the local 6 toed cat which still reside in his house (all 44 of them). His house in Key West is 40 metres from the local lighthouse which he used to navigate himself home to each night after an evening of booze. He promoted several professional boxing fights in his time and set up a boxing ring in his back garden for young aspiring boxers to train in. He committed suicide in 1961 after being exiled from Cuba when Mr Fidel took power and he lost most of his manuscripts. His fortune is administered by his oldest son out of Idaho.

From Key West today it was north up the I-1 to Miami.

Several questions for the panel and for you to ponder.

1. I walked past a shop front today and it said Psychic readings done here  . I was wondering. If I walked in would she say '' I've been expecting you '' ???

 2. I also walked past an adult entertainment house (cum brothel) and on the billboard outside it said Live Adults. Well there is a relief

3. I drove past a a billboard that said Cafe-Bakery..Made to order. Either that is one very industrious family of carpenters or a gross misrepresentation of the truth.

Miami. You have to see it to believe it. It is the city (and particularly South Beach)of the beautiful and if not naturally blessed with looks then there is a lot of people trying very hard to be so. It is also the cruise ship capital of the world. Little wonder then that everything here seems to have a 30-40% premium over anything that you can buy or order in Kew West or Naples.

More on Miami tomorrow.

A floating apartment block departing Miami (aka Norwegian Epic)

Go figure

U.S. Route 1 is a major north–south U.S. Highway that serves the East Coast of the United States. It runs 2,377 miles (3,825 km) from Key West, Florida, north to Fort Kent, Maine, at the Canadian border. U.S. 1 generally parallels Interstate 95, though it is significantly farther west (inland) between Jacksonville, Florida and Petersburg, Virginia. The highway connects most of the major cities of the east coast, including Miami, Florida; Jacksonville, Florida; Augusta, Georgia; Columbia, South Carolina; Cary, North Carolina; Raleigh, North Carolina; Richmond, Virginia; Washington, D.C.; Baltimore, Maryland; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Newark, New Jersey; New York City; New Haven, Connecticut; Providence, Rhode Island; Boston, Massachusetts; and Portland, Maine.

So no prizes for guessing where Captain Nick is then. Key West! Departed Naples yesterday and drove 6 hours down through the Everglades National Park to a small town called Homestead which is where the 'Florida Keys' commence. 'Keys' denotes island. There is no shortage of them here and if the Maldives and Kiribati people are worried about global warming and a possible oceanic flood then so too should these folk. The highest point of elevation is the bridges you cross to get from one key to the next with the highest point of most islands (keys) seemingly inches above the high tide mark. At one point a disused bridge connecting two keys is now the longest fishing pier in the world at seven miles in length.

Key West is everything that Naples is not. Liberal, easy going, laid back, has an abundance of character, possess a soul, and you can walk everywhere to where you want to be. There is seemingly a lot of people here who are running away from lives gone awry in other parts of the USA and the world. No one I have met was actually born or raised here and there are plenty of 'drifter' looking types. There also seems to be a healthy sprinkle of artists and 'alternative life' seekers residing here and some of them have gone to the extent of stamping their possessions with what they perceive to be their own artistic talent (see below). I imagine that if you did the same thing in Naples you'd find yourself locked up in either a cell or straight-jacket pretty smart-ish.

Key West also proclaims to be the southernmost point of continental USA. I contest that on the grounds that you cross 22 bridges and 9 islands to get here. Can it still be part of the same continent? There is a large land based buoy (pronounced ''bu-ee'') here stating that you are at the southern most point of the USA. Yet 3 metres away is a large fence ringed naval base that extends another mile southwards.Go figure. Interestingly a few years back I went to Hawaii and travelled to the 'Big Island' which is also called Hawaii and then took a car trip to the southern tip of the island and there I read the same proclamations.'Southern most point of the USA.'

Again.Go figure.