Compare and contrast

The scene - A pub 

You walk into an English pub in central London and the conversation goes as follows

Barman - '' Wott will eeet it be'' ? (in East London accent) or more typically these days.. ''Vat vee you driiink ? ( in Polish, Lithuanian, Estonian, Romanian accented pidgin English )

You - ''Errr I will have a lager please''

Barman - Either a grunt or simple silence

3 mins later....

'' That'll be free quid 20 mate '' or  '' please you give me 3 pound and tweeenty punce ''  (and she/he has probably poured you an Ale)


Now compare and contrast




The scene - A bar

You walk into a bar in central Naples and the conversation goes as follows

Barman '' Why hello sir. How you enjoying your day (regardless of the fact you may not be) and what can I getch ya ?

You - ''Errrr I will have a beer please''

Barman - ''Sure thing sir ! What'll it be ?''

You -''Errr just a lager please

Barman - '' Sure thing sir, we have Millers, Millers Lite, Bud, Bud Lite, Coors, Coors Lite, Corona, (what no lite Corona ? ) Amstel, Amstel Lite....at which point you interject and say

You - '' Just a Corona please''

Barman - ''Sure thing sir and do you want lime, lemon or just straight up ?''

You - '' Errr lime please ''

Barman - ''Sure thing sir and with a glass or just the bottle like a real man ?''

You - ''Bottle please''

Barman - ''Sure thing Sir. Where you from ? ''

You - ''Australia ''

Barman - '' Nice. My sister went skiing there last year''

You - '' Oh nice. Where ? ''

Barman - '' Some place called St Antoine ''

You - '' Ah, St Anton. Nope thats A U S T R I A  I'm from A U S T R A L I AAAA ''

Barman - '' Sure thing sir...the land of Crocodile Dundee ''

You - '' that be the one ''

Barman - '' sure thing sir...that will be 3 dollars 40 please ...do you want to run a tab, pay by credit or do cash ? ''

You - '' I'll pay now thanks'' and you hand him a tenner...

Barman - ''Sure thing sir'' and he returns 3 minutes later with 6 one dollar notes and 60 cents...

As you just arrived, and plan on staying for some considerable time and to ensure you get a decent service later when the place hots up you leave 4 of the notes on bar and the shrapnel.


America. You gotta love it.



p.s. Oh by the way, I saw another one today......yup another Bank I've never heard of. The thing too that intrigues me about these ''Banks'' is that it is not like they are one storey two room shells with 4 staff. Check this one out.  ''America Momentum Bank. '' Given the way things are going for the US dollar me thinks their marketing department might want to think about a possible re-branding.