1. We take it for granted that everyone has flown. Especially if you are Australian and need to fly to get anywhere. On the flight down I had an elderly English couple sitting next to me, and an Irish couple behind me who had never been on a plane before. Not sure it was a wise move to break your virginity by boarding a 23 hour flight to Melbourne. But hey. If you are going to do it , do it properly I guess.
2. What is with this ''bag drop'' idea? Half the time the queue for having checked in online and simply needing to deposit your bag is as long as the normal queue.
3. Why does it take a staff member 45 hours to check you and your baggage in? Dispense with the unnecessary chit chit. The conversation as you get to the counter should be simply as follows.
You - ''Hello I'm on QF 1 to Melbourne tonight''...and with that opening statement you place your bag(s) on the weight belt and hand over your passport
Them - ''Thank you sir''...clicking of computer on their side to confirm that, whirring of printing machine as it spits out your boarding pass and bag tags and then they hand both passport and boarding passes back to you. Total time spent at counter? Less than 3 minutes. They manage to do it at Changi airport in Singapore. Why can't it be replicated everywhere else?
4. In a drive to offset rising costs elsewhere, airlines are cutting corners everywhere else. What happened to a refreshing towel before take off? The stodge they call food? The minature cans of soft drink that barely wet the pallet let alone quench a thirst? The plastic cutlery? There was a chap who about 18 months ago took a photo of the trash served up to him on a London to Mumbai flight on Virgin and wrote an amusing letter to Richard Branson. I was tempted to do the same to the head of BA given what they served on the return flight. (More on BA later).
5. The size of the entertainment screens? I have seen iPhones with larger visual displays.
6. The seat pitch. I have never quite understood the concept around seat pitch and how they measure it. All I know is that if you spend 23 hours with your knees jammed into the seat in front of you then it's fairly obvious they have tried to cram too many sardines into the can. You need to have the folding skills of a Japanese origami artist master to be able to extract yourself from your seat.
7. Why is it that a person with a bladder the size of a small Brazilian jungle pea books themselves a window seat two seats away form the aisle? No better way to annoy your fellow travellers than constantly asking them to move aside at 2 am somewhere over Lithuania, 3.15 am over the Caspian sea, 4.22 am over the Caucuses, 6.05am over Iran, 7.30am over Iran, 8.45 am over Afghanistan, 9.50am over Pakistan..etc etc etc
8. What's with this code sharing practice? I booked and paid for and expected to travel QANTAS there and back. You can then imagine my surprise and disappointment when I arrived at the counter for the return leg from Sydney to London to discover that QF301 and morphed into and was now BA010. It would be OK if the service offered by both was similar. However.....
9. I never thought I would say this but.....QANTAS slaugthers British Airways. The former experience out to Melbourne bordered on ridiculously good. The seat space was tolerable, the food palatable (just), the service pleasant and endearing, the entertainment choices wide and varied, and the aircraft clean and departed on time.
BA meanwhile....the staff acted arrogantly, rudely and with no interest.On the leg from Sydney to Bangkok it took the aircraft 1 hour and 45 mins to chill down from 32'C to 22'C and almost twice as long from Bangkok to London. I can't call what they served us ''food''. If had been able to fold myself out of my seat at any point in time I would've reached for my camera and taken a photo. However as it was BA was spared the letter as I flunked my origami classes at school. Forget iPhone. The entertainment screen was smaller than the screen you get on most Swatches. The toilets dirty and unkept.
Two years ago I made a pledge to never fly Ryanair again. So far I have remained true to myself. British Airways has just joined that list.
10. Australia is expensive. Forget the exchange rate with the British pound. If you work and live in Australia it's still an expensive place. The pick of the crop was $35 for a glass of wine in the Westin Hotel foyer bar? Excuse me????
11. There is not a more beautiful and pleasing on the eye city in the world than Sydney. Period. End of discussion.
12. There is not a city with more speed cameras and road tolls than Melbourne. Period. End of discussion.
13. Hertz are a thieving bunch of car owners. Here is why. I booked a car for 7.30am pick up in Melbourne. My flight was early so i arrived at the counter at 6.15am and signed for the car at 6.28am. They then, and without telling me, charged me an additional two hours at $13.25 per hour for the early pick up. That equated to a full days base rate car hire. I say base rate because have you seen the taxes they slug you with? I booked a stock standard Toyota Corolla at $26.50 per day. So mentally somewhere in the back of my mind I foolishly had the number of $53 as my expected cost for the two days of car hire. I'm going to take a guess that anyone reading this (and congratulations if you have got this far) will be as surprised as me to read that the total 2 day cost was not indeed $53 but .....$346.70....yup aint not a mistype there...$346.70....Let me just go and get the receipt and run you through it....
''Charges ''
2 hours early pick up penalty (not communicated to me) at $13.25 per hour equalling $26.50
2 days hire at $26.50 per day equalling $53
Admin recovery fee at 3.5% equalling $8.25 ( Admin effing recovery what???)
VPR at 5.95% per day equalling $17.85 ( VP effing R what ?)
Upsell at $23 per day somehow equalling $69 for two days. I just noticed this one. Surely 2 times 23 is 46 not 69 ????
Location fee at 19% equalling $48.19
CC surcharge at 1.5% equalling $5.12
Max insurance at 3 days at $29.09 a day equalling $87.27 ...I had the car for 2 days, 1 hour and 2 mins and get hit for 3 days of charges...
subtotal $315.18
GST applied $31.52
Total $346.70.
Mr Hertz is DEFINITELY getting a letter.
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Was it all worth it? Of course it was. Life is short and not a dress rehearsal and if you can enjoy views like these below and have also have the high quality level of friends and family that I do at any stage in your life let alone be able to call it home and them your friends then you are a lucky man......very lucky indeed.
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| Morning mist rises at Tunks Park. A 5min walk from 'home' |
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| Northbridge Bridge from Tunks park on an early morning jet lag busting walk |
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| The commercially renamed AMP Tower known to anyone over the age of 30 as Centrepoint Tower |
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| The lunchtime view from the Northern side of the harbour |
Glad you had a good time. Sandy's got a nice touch on the stylings by the way... looks good. Cheers.
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