Tire (sic) Plus

Let me just preface what I'm about to type with a little bit of a self perspective reality check. If what happened to me today is the worse thing that occurs to me this year I will be a happy boy. I'm living the dream so a good dose of reality is required and no sympathy sought. However it makes for an almost comically absurd day.

The day started badly and only went downhill. You recall the final exam and check ride I was due to do Friday got pushed to Saturday ? Then it was pushed to Monday (today) because of incorrect birth dates on documents ?

Well I awake this am and get into car t 8.30am. Flat tyre (spelt tire in the USA). I drive down to Hertz with a temporary wheel now attached and with greased and blackened hands and jeans. Hertz tell me to go to Tire Plus to get a patch on the wheel. Tire Plus tell me the tread on aforementioned tyre is now below legal Florida standards for a patch and I have to purchase a new tyre. Cost ? 185 USD. Time it takes for me to converse them through the issue and have tyre replaced ? 1 hour and 20 minutes. During this time I have the joy of watching the in house reception TV and a show called ''Paternity Test''. Primarily a show whose participants are clearly from a socio economic class lower than that even found in trailer parks who are invited to appear before a live TV audience and discover whether they are in fact the real father of the child their partner has borne. Quality TV. One woman had 3 of her cousins on a couch opposite her claiming that one of them was the father of her child but she was not sure as she had slept with all 3. Yes. Her cousins !!!!!!

 The host has the DNA documentation in his hand and it goes like this.

Host - (addressing the 3 men ) ....'' Dwayne.....you are not the father ! '' At this point Dwayne gets up and high fives half the audience and jives around the stage as though he has just won lotto.

Host - '' Shawn.....you are not the father ! ''  For Shawn's reaction read above for Dwayne's.

Host - '' Alfonso....you are not the father !'' For Alfonso's reaction read above for Dwayne and Shawn and mulitply by 5.

Cries of disbelief from the audience. Woman runs from stage in hysterics and host follows her off stage to where she is being consoled by her sister.

Host - '' I'm so sorry. But when you think you have discovered who the father in fact is, we would love to have you back on the show.''

It was actually pretty sad to watch.

More on the 185 USD later

So I arrive at airport and the day gets worse. Go into exam room for a little one on one time with my FAA examiner who asks to see my documentation again. His furrowed brow has me break out in a visible sweat.

Examiner- ''Err. Your ground theory exam which you did 2 weeks ago and passed has your name as Nicholas David Waite on the document. Your pilots licence however has your name as Nicholas David Aaron Waite. Thus we cannot proceed.''

His hair brain idea to get around the problem was for me to drop the name Aaron from my licence. I quickly pointed out to him that this would come back to bite me in my rotund behind when the next spot check was done by the FAA on my documentation when I was in the plane and my licence showed my names as being Nicholas David Waite whereas my passport and other supporting ID proof all showed it to be Nicholas David Aaron Waite.

Several words spring to mind here none of which I can use.

So he calls the FAA to get resolution on the issue. All of the FAA is at lunch and the 4 different people we call all have phones that ring out and we get voicemail. So examiner tells me to come back at 1.30pm.

I return at 1.30pm. FAA states I can either re-sit the massive ground theory exam for free under my full name or pay 200 USD  to re-submit the documentation.

1.45pm start the exam some 2 hours late. Get 1.5 hours into it and the examiner tells me he has another appointment to go to and with all the bureaucratic issues this morning we have to adjourn the exam until tomorrow. Tuesday.

So the exam that was set for Friday, pushed to Saturday, pushed to Monday, now looks set for Tuesday.

100 bucks says the weather tomorrow is unflyable.

Again I cannot mention the words running amok in my mind at this stage. Needless to say I' m sure you can well imagine.

As for the Hertz tyre ? Well by days end I was ready to fight anyone. 65 minutes in the Naples Hertz office and after several discussions with the manager about exactly what was included in my car insurance he agreed to a 150 USD rebate. Transpires the insurance I took out covers absolutely everything except the tyres and the rims. You couldn't script it.